We are living in a materialistic age. People are busier than before and they have lesser time for their home and family. In such a situation, keeping the marriage healthy and perfect has become a difficult task for the couples.
People get married to build a home of their happiness and peace. But when they enter a realistic life, they become hating each other for small issues. They stop trusting each other. They argue on stupid issues. They fight out of frustration and say so much harsh thing that results in a broken home.
In this post, we conducted a survey from different marriage counselors, psychologists, and relationships divas and gurus. They shared their experience, made recommendations, and here is what we have come up with.
- Have an effective communication
Effective communication is the basic need for a healthy marriage. It is important that when your spouse is sharing something, you must give full attention to him/ her.
I also recommend that everyone should develop the habit of listening to your partner, peacefully. It will give him/her a feeling that there is someone in the world, who always hears with full concentration.
In addition, I also suggest to not intervening while you are discussing anything. Otherwise, you may face an argument.
- Learn about the likes and dislikes of each other
If you are ready to maintain a healthy married life, then you must learn about the likes and dislikes of each other. It is very important because not knowing your spouse will develop distances in your relationship.
For example, you should know what color your partner likes or dislikes, what flowers are his/her favorite, and what type of people she/he feels comfortable with.
- Make healthy arguments
Some people think that arguments are bad. But in my opinion, arguments are helpful in not contaminating your feelings about each other. The most important thing in the couple’s argument is who remains to the point and who includes other issues too.
All couples should remember that arguments can be healthy if they make them with an intention of solving the problem.
- Avoid making statements during angry moods
Angriness is the enemy of love. And, this is one of the most important advice that every marriage counselor gives to the couples. The experts suggest that couples should not make any type of comments when angry. That’s because a spouse may say anything while getting hyper and it will break up the marriage.
For example, the couples should avoid making comments like I want to leave you, you are a problem for me, or I just want to get rid of this suffocating relationship of marriage. Such type of things breaks hearts.
- Be sincere in what you say and act
Sincerity in the relationship is very much recommended by the marriage experts. They argue that people make promises and commitments in the early days of the marriage. But, as soon they began to face the realities of the world; they forget what they had said before. Such behaviors led to a misunderstanding between the couples.
For this reason, experts suggest that you may make a few promises, but you must stay committed to your words.
- Love your spouse and not her/his wealth
Marriage counselors share the experience that they have met many couples who have married each other for anything like money or property. And when their expectations are not fulfilled, they just want to get rid of each other.
So, they always recommend making lesser expectations before marriage because; it will help them in loving each other and strengthening their marital relationship.
- Never hesitate in making compromises
Most of the relationship experts emphasize making compromises as one of the most important needs of a perfect marriage. You can compromise on your job timings, likes and dislikes, and mood switches. And yes, never try to make your partner grateful for the things you do.
- Respect is more important than love
Respecting each other is more important than loving. That’s what the experts said in the survey. They asserted that every person has self-respect and they expect the same from their partner. For this reason, the spouse should take care of little things, avoid flaws, and give respect to each other’s point of view.
- Equality is important
In a perfect marriage, a man and woman play an equally important role. So, both spouses sharing a marriage should treat each other in an equal manner. They should respect the perspectives of each other. Not only had that, but they should also help each other in different households.
- Love your partner’s soul, not only body
A marriage turns two souls and hearts into one. So, for a perfect marital relationship, the partner should love the sole of his partner and not only the body.
Another reason which the experts give is that the body of a person gets old with the time. If someone will only love the physical features, he might get bored after some years.
- Keep avoiding that person your partner dislikes
We have already mentioned above that a peaceful marriage needs making compromises. This recommendation is also an extension of that one.
Experts argue that if your partner dislikes any of your friends or he/she feels uncomfortable with any of colleague, you must avoid having close relationships with them.
- Possessiveness is good but trusting each other is rather better
Love without possessiveness is a rainbow without colors. A true lover always has some feeling of possessiveness, but for the experts, the spouses should maintain trust in the relationship.
They should trust each other’s character. They should always stand together no matter what the situation will be.
- Don’t be workaholic—manage some time for your partner
Time management is another important advice of the marriage counselors. Experts suggest that becoming workaholic and forgetting your marital life is very dangerous. Everyone should manage some time for the spouse, so he/she will not get frustrated with your ignorance.
In this regard, it is recommended that you can text your spouse during the office hours or may make little random calls. It will not only give her happiness but also increases the level of trust in the marriage.
- Avoid working on weekends
Another recommendation is to avoid working on weekends. These days are specific for your family time and you should enjoy each moment with them. If you don’t have kids, it is easier to go for a long drive and a romantic dinner. But if you have children, you can plan one weekend for the whole family and another one for your spouse only.
In addition, experts suggest that it is not about spending a lot of money to make your spouse happy. Sometimes, your little lovely acts become the lifeline of your marriage!
- Eat the Dinner Together
Managing some time is important for a healthy marriage, so, eating every day’s dinner together is also very important. All of us know that we are living busy lives. Most of us take breakfast in a hurry because we are getting late for our work. We do not eat lunch together because we are in our offices. So, the only time left for eating together is the dinner time and one should not miss it at any cost.
You can discuss little things with each other. But, one of our experts suggested that you should put at least one bite of your food in your spouse’s mouth. It will strengthen your marriage to the level, you won’t even believe!
- Marriage requires continuous efforts
We all know that our cars require continuous maintenance. Otherwise, it will betray you anywhere. Experts state that same is the case with every marital relationship. Marriage requires constant efforts of growing it healthy and perfect.
Some also argued that our body needs different nutrition for maintaining health. In the same way, marriage requires love, sincerity, trust, and respect on a continuous basis.
- Show more affection for each other
Spouses should show more and more affection towards each other. It will never allow your marriage to become rotten and yes, every single day you will love each other more than before.
- Share everything with your spouse
Marriage experts and psychotherapists argue that considering your spouse as your best friend adds more love to your marriage. For this reason, you should share everything with your spouse because; nobody can give you better advice than him/her.
- Don’t blame your spouse for failures
Failures and successes are a part of our lives. But blaming your spouse for your failures seems inhuman. For a healthy marital relationship, you should celebrate success with each other and give credit to your partner. In the same way, you should never blame your partner or his/her luck for your failures.
- Always share your softer emotions before sleeping
Marriage experts suggest that spouses’ should share soft emotions of love before sleeping. It can be anything like a kiss on the forehead, a simple I love you, or I want to live with you forever. In addition, you can also share the feeling of how much you missed each other during the work hours.
- Put your partner’s head on your chest and feel the love
Another way of relaxation and growing love in the marriage is spending some silent moments while putting your partner’s head on your chest and feeling the love. It will make you realize that she/he is the strongest part of your life.
- Smile when you come back
Sometimes, actions speak louder than words. Experts recommend that when you enter the house after a busy and hectic day, a little smile on your face tells all about your love and affection. It is necessary for both husband and wife because it will refresh your mood every day!
- A marital relationship should always be your first priority
Marriage counselors have often experienced that the main reason of fights and misunderstandings between the partners is the feeling of ignorance. Most of the couple feels that he/she is less important for the spouse than work and other matters. For this reason, the marital relationship should always be the first priority of everyone. There should be no work excuses or friends’ gatherings above your life partner!
- Increase the strength of your verbal and non-verbal communication
Actions and words are very important for a perfect marriage. Experts suggest that telling your partner that how much you love him/her and making small actions to make your spouse happy are mandatory. You can buy little gifts for your better half or give him/her wish cards that show your love and care.
- Help each other in the households
We have mentioned that giving equality to each other is important for a marriage. For this reason, spouses should help each other in households. You can wash the dishes; clean the table tops, make a salad, or serve the food on the table. And yes, while doing these things just have a chat with your partner in a lighter mode!
- Keep your marriage safe from the predators
Predators and jealous people are some of the most important reasons for trusting each other more than anything. There are some people who never want to see you happy. They will fill your brain with the negative thoughts about your partner, which will make you contempt him/her. It can be anything like fake text messages and calls, making you realize that you deserve a better partner, and encouraging you for cheating your better half as a normal routine.
In such cases, you have to be careful and should save your marriage from some hypocrites. You should have a belief that no one in the world in sincerer than your spouse and he/she is a real blessing for you!
- In a marriage, only you and your spouse matters
In our survey, experts have clarified that in a marriage there is no space of any interference of the third person. Every issue and each matter should remain between the life partners and they should solve it with the good tactics of communication.
- Don’t give more importance to any one of the same genders of your spouse
The relationship experts have identified those opposite-sex friendships draws a distancing line between the married couple. It may look innocent to you, but despite the thrust of your partner; it hurts badly. People say that their wife fights because of their best friend who is a girl. In expert’s opinion, people should avoid making such type of friendships because love and possessiveness go parallel!
- Don’t make rash decisions
This is another important viewpoint of our experts. They recommend avoiding making a decision during the angry phases. That’s because, angriness may encourage you to take rash and hard decisions, but when you become normal there will be nothing other than regrets.
- Mutual decisions are helpful in a married life
Instead of being dictator of the home, mutual decisions are helpful in understanding the point of view of each other. In this way, there will be no frustration in your married life, as both partners will have an equal chance of expressing their thoughts.
- Support each other in front of others
For me, it is more than important and so is for our experts. Every person should support his/her spouse in front of others. If you don’t do that, people have a greater opportunity of breaking you apart.
- Have sex and enjoy every moment
The couples who avoid sex get bored of their marriage in comparison to those who love having sex. That’s because God has kept too much attraction for the opposite sex. If you avoid sex with your partner, he/she may feel to cheat you for inner peace.
So, it is better to have sex more often and enjoy the moments with your life partner!
- Small presents are helpful in maintaining a healthy marriage
It can be chocolate, a set of bangles, or a pair of shoes, but giving little presents to your spouse help in maintaining a healthy marital relationship.
- Try to avoid your bad habits after marriage
If you have any bad habit like seeing porn, visiting sexy magazines, or drinking too much alcohol; you must get rid of them after getting married. Experts and Sufism argue that marriage is a fairest relationship, so you must leave all things which may negatively impact your peaceful married life.
- Don’t think that you will cheat your partner and he/she will never know
Some people believe that their partner will never know of the ways they’ve cheated them. But for their kind information, they are wrong. Only your spouse has the ability to know everything through your eyes and acts, so it is better than not to cheat your partner at any cost!
- Own your mistakes
But if in case, you have made any mistake, then you must have the courage of admitting it. A BBC report shared the story of a woman whose husband was addicted to sex. But, he admitted his weakness in front of her wife, who then took her to a rehabilitation center for the treatment. Now, they are living a happy life without cheating each other.
- A little sorry can save your relationship from hardships
A sorry is very helpful in a peaceful resolution of the issues. One should never hesitate in making apologies because it shows how much you are in love with your partner.
In addition, some experts also explained that a sometimes a sorry doesn’t mean that you are wrong, but it means that your marriage is more important to you than your ego.
- Never take your relationship to the level of prolonged fights
The more you stretch your fights, more misunderstandings will arise. So, for a peaceful marriage, both partners should resolve the issues on an immediate basis.
- Drink water and be calm while arguments
It looks funny, but still, important advice from our experts. They asserted that if an argument enters a serious situation, then you should drink water and stay calm to avoid delivering harsh comments. In this way, your partner will also control her/his angry mood and things will get better.
- Share things with your spouse and not on Social Media
Increased dependence on social media has also become a predator of married lives. People, instead of sharing or complaining to their partners; post things on Facebook, Twitter, and other social networking websites. This way, personal issues become public and they feel more sympathy from strangers. Experts recommend avoiding such kind of behaviors. They encourage discussing everything with your spouse, even if it is complaining about an issue.
- Assumptions kill the marriage
Experts also recommend to not sticking to your own assumptions. There are sometimes when a lie is that you see and the truth is that you don’t. So, all of you should avoid suppositions and live a happy married life!
- Never respond to a situation without having a look at it
Like all the glisters are not gold, all that you see might not be the truth. For this reason, you must not respond to a situation without finding out its all aspects. But if you do, you may regret after that!
- Go for vacations and relax
Busy and hectic schedules often resulted in a dead marital relationship. In this regard, marriage experts’ advice couples to leave all the work go for vacations and enjoy every moment together.
- Take care of your spouse when ill
While taking the oath of the marriage, the bride and groom vow to have and hold in sickness and health, richness and poor. For this reason, it becomes a promising responsibility of you to take care of your spouse in every health condition. A spouse is not only for sex or earning money for you so; you should care about her/him when not feeling well.
- Violence is a sign of a weak man
Continuously scolding your wife or beating her on small issues are the signs of a weak man. Such things not only make the marriage a burden but also result in a divorce. For this reason, experts advice every man avoiding domestic violence and behave softly with his wife.
- Often discuss things with your spouse
We have already mentioned effective communication as one of the most important parts of a marriage. In this regard, relationship gurus recommend couples to often discuss and share small things. For example, you can ask your spouse if she is happy with you and if she wants anything.
- Think about the things that could add more positivity to your marriage
Avoiding negative thoughts, silly assumptions, and trusting each other will add that positivity to your marriage, which you are looking for.
- Encourage instead of taunting
Relationship experts and psychologists emphasize on appreciating each other instead of taunting. If your wife cooks well, you should praise her, but if she forgets anything; so just make her comfortable in spite of taunting and scolding.
- Be gentle while making any point
While speaking to your spouse, experts also advice to remain politely. They suggest that being gentle during an argument puts a positive impact on the spouse, and he/she understand the opinion in a better way.
- Do remember that Karma exists
Everyone loves their daughters and sons. A person can tolerate pain for himself, but never for the kids. So, if you would do badly with your spouse, someone in the future will do the same with your daughter or son.
- Never disclose the weaknesses of your partner in front of anybody
You are the cover of your spouse, so, you must not tell the flaws of your spouse to anyone. If you do so, people will begin interfering in your life, thus resulting in a hopeless marital relationship. But if you learn to keep the weaknesses secret, nobody will ever question you or your spouse!
- Offer your shoulder in hard times
Standing with your spouse in difficult phases and offering shoulder in the hard times is another advice for a perfect marital relationship. Experts argue that everyone should remember that people may not remember who congratulate on their success, but they will always remember the one who wasn’t with him/her in the failed phases. For this reason, the husband and wife should support each other at the cost of anything!
- Tell your kids to respect your partner—mother or father
After having kids, a marriage is not about two persons but involves the whole family. For this reason, husband and wife should avoid making arguments and disagreeing with each other in front of their children. In addition, they should also teach their kids to respect their parents.
- Never share your partner’s weaknesses with your children
In an extension to the previous point, the experts also recommend that couples should never tell the flaws of the spouse to their children. If they do so, they will lose respect in each other’s heart and obviously, for their kids.
- Go on long drives and talk
Once a week, going on long drives will give you happiness and will add strength to your marriage. You can just discuss things in a light mood, which will refresh you for the entire week.
P.S: Having a cup of coffee of Ice cream will be useful too!
- Long walks with your partner help in better understanding of each other
After having the dinner, couples can for a long walk in any near-by garden. Hand-in-hand and a sweet breeze will make you love your partner more and more, thus resulting in a perfect and happiest marital relationship.
- In marriage, every day is special
If you want to love a perfect marital life, experts suggest making and feeling every day as a special one. You can give surprises to each other. You can also give small gifts, or even little sentences of affection will work every day.
- Take your spouse for shopping before she asks by herself
Experts assert that most of the men hate going shopping. They make jokes and try to stay at home, which makes women angry. If you want a perfect married life, you should take your wife for shopping before she insists on that. It is not only your responsibility but also a gesture of showing your care. Similarly, women should avoid spending a lot of time while shopping and take care of their husbands.
- Go together for groceries
For experts, going together for groceries shows an interest in the households. It depicts that your office work is not more important than your home. You can go for grocery on foot and talk about home, weather, and yourself.
- Never make comparisons of your married life with other couples
In our survey, many marriage experts identified that couples compare themselves with others and it adds a lot of frustration in their lives. Some make comparisons on the financial basis, while some thought that their spouse is lee beautiful than of the other.
- Try not to argue on useless issues
Arguing is healthy but when you start it on useless things; it becomes a burden on the marriage. For this reason, it is better to ignore the things which are nothing but tension.
- Never try to impose your political views on your partner
For the relationship gurus, it is a common issue that becomes an obstacle in leading a happy married life. Spouse tries to impose their political views on the partner, which results in arguments and fights. So, couples should not try to impose their political viewpoints on their partners, however discussing things is good, but give them full freedom to choose their party.
- Learn the perspectives of your partner
Experts also recommend learning the perspectives of your partner instead of implementing yours with violence.
- Avoid the flaws of each other
Everyone has flaws and weaknesses. So, for a peaceful marriage couple should learn that they have married a human being, who can never be perfect.
- Make investments in your marriage
Like you invest in businesses, stock markets, and put something in your saving accounts; a marriage also needs continuous investments. You should priories the mutual needs, communicate when you feel upset, make compromises and sometimes disagreements, stay polite and add lovely surprises to your married life.
- Call each other with different nicknames
Calling each other with sweet and romantic nicknames also helps in adding more love to your marriage.
- Be your partner’s protector
Experts suggest that those couples who protect each other from hardships and tensions love each other more than those who never do that.
- Negotiate on everything
Instead of making harsh comments and hard decision, you must negotiate on every single issue. It will not only relieves the tensions but also provide a better solution than leaving each other forever.
- Making sacrifices is necessary for a healthy marriage
In the viewpoints of experts, sacrificing little things result in a healthy marital relationship. You should give space to your partner including freedom of eating, talking, and sleeping.
- A loving marriage says no to EGO
Simply say No to EGO and you will feel much positivity in your marital relationship.
- Avoid dressings which your partner don’t like
You should also give importance to the choice of your partner, especially in dressing. If your partner doesn’t like you wearing short clothes, then you must respect him due to his love and possessiveness.
- Find out the strengths of your marriage and also the tools of maintaining them
Be Positive. Relationship counselors suggest that you must find out the refreshing aspects of your marriage. Once you did it, you should explore the tools, which can help you in maintaining them throughout.
- Make commitments and fulfill them too
During the early marriage days, couples make many commitments. But when they face the reality of the world, they forget everything. In this regard, experts recommend that couples should make lesser commitments and try to fulfill them as soon as possible.
- Never talk bad about partner’s family (Parents and siblings)
Everyone feels emotional about their family. Nobody likes to hear something bad about their parents and siblings. For this reason, every spouse should avoid disgracing their in-laws.
- Avoid smoking and alcohol
Excessive drinking not only results in a bad health but also in a violent marital relationship. So, it is better to avoid smoking (drugs) and drinking too much alcohol.
- Don’t say this is yours and this is mine
In a marriage, all mine and yours become ours. Either it is a failure or a success, it belongs to both partners. So, instead of saying this is mine and this is yours, you should term everything as ours!
- Accept the fact that your spouse is different from you
In this world, every human being has a different nature. Same is the case with you and your better half. In order to avoid misunderstanding, you must accept the fact that your spouse is different from you with some other likes and dislikes.
- Express love no matter how hard the situation is
Marriage experts recognize that expressing love during the hardest time makes the partner realize that he/she will love you forever and stand with you no matter what life brings.
- Don’t make your spouse feel that he/she is a burden on you.
If your spouse doesn’t work outside and stays at home, you should not treat him/her as a burden for you. God has given you the ability to fulfill your partner’s expenses, so you must treat your partner equally.
- Support each other in fulfilling their dreams
Everyone should support their partner in fulfilling the dreams. It can be securing a higher academic degree or achieving the career goals. It will grow your marriage stronger by building a trust that you will always stand together.
- Don’t keep bad things about your spouse in your heart
Marriage experts, relationship gurus, and psychologists in our survey ended up recommending that a spouse should not keep bad things about the partner in the heart. It will lead to discomfort, argues, and a broken marriage. If you think there is something wrong, the best thing is to make it clear with your better half.